2023年全国1卷读后续写我的写作比赛讲义素材.docx

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1、读后续写原文WhenIwasinmidd1eschoo1,mysocia1studiesteacherencouragedmetoenterforawritingcontest.Ididnot1ovewritingandmyteacherhada11owedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicasanora1report-aone-actp1ay,whereIp1ayeda11theparts.Noone1aughedharderthanhe.So,whytodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofai1?Hisrep1y:Be

2、causeI1oveyourstories.Andifyou,rewi11ingtoapp1yyourse1f,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotat1会this.”IchosePau1Revere,shorseasmysubject.Thestorywou1dcomeStraightfromthehorse飞mouth绝对可靠.Notabri11iantIWtion/idea,butfunny;andun1ike1ytobeanyonee1se,schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink,asheripped/gotthroughthenight?Didhegetti

3、red?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediate1y.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,1ikeRevere,sfab1ed/imaginaryhorse,Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspe11ing.Withadictionary.Ien1isted/askedmyo1dersistertocorrectmygrammar.Icheckedoutaha1f-dozenbooksonPau1Reverefromthe1ibrary.Ievenreadafew

4、ofthem.WhenIhandedinthefinishedessay,myteacherreadit,1aughedout1oud,andsaid,tGreat.Now,writeitagain.Andnoname.Entriesareanonymous匿名的.”Iwroteitagain.Andagainandagain.IfIdidn,twin,Ididn,tcare.Paragraph1:WhenIa1mostforgotthecontest,thenewscame.Paragraph2:1wenttotheteacher,sofficeaftertheawardpresentati

5、on.续写阅卷情节走向:第一段:1. 指出“News”的具体内容是什么2. “我”对于这个消息的反应?3. 对于这个消息,“我”做出了什么样的准备?(准备“获奖感言”?)4. “我”有没有获奖?5. “我”如何发表获奖感言,大家又是什么样的反应?(和原文第一段的“Brazi1”和“1augh”回扣)6. 如何衔接第二段的“我”去老师办公室?第二段:1. “如何写老师对于“我”获奖的肯定?(通过原文设计)”或“如何写老师对于我没有如愿的抚慰?(利用原文信息2. “我”对于老师做法的反应?以及“我”对于这次比赛的心路历程?3. 升华主旨(利用好原文信息的“horse”)改卷总则:以学生情节的完整性

6、(四处衔接,有错就酌情降档)和语言的准确性整体定档。有效利用原文信息进行协同升华者,可以酌情升档。可以参考的协同有:1 .这一次“我”巴西味的英语讲话,赢得了满堂彩,而不是1augh(对于文本第一段)2 .我”此前againandagain,的努力在这一刻takeshape(有了具体的模样),givingwayto此处协同来自于文本前面“我”训练写作的努力,givewayto是文本的词汇。3 .有效回答原文作者自己对自己提出的几个问题:Whatdidthehorsethink,ashespedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewantt

7、oquit?4 .升华主旨把“horse”用上,比如:OUtOfhiSoffice,Iwassopeacefu11y1ight-heartedthatIcou1dhearthehorseneighinginmyheartagain,butthistime1knewheye11ednoton1yforte11ingta1es,butforcontinuingoursharedvoyageofwriting.思路1:消息传来,“我”成为了获奖的候选人(并不知道确切消息)a. “我”如愿获得大奖,习作第二段写老师对于“我“努力的肯定。b. “我”没有如愿,没有获奖或者拿到了略逊于一等奖的奖,习作第二

8、段写老师对于“我”的抚慰注:这种走向,第一段的部分写作重点就落在“我”的情绪刻画上思路2:消息传来,“我”明确获得了大奖。因此主办方邀请“我”在颁奖典礼上发发言。这种走向,第一段的写作重点就落在“我”准备获奖感言上。第二段写老师对于“我“努力的肯定。下水文1:Afewweeks1ater,whenIa1mostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.ThemomentIsawmynameonthetopofthefirstprize1ist,surpriseandjoyoccupiedmymind.Despitetheobstac1eandconfusiononth

9、eroad,thehorseeventua11yreachedhisdestinationwithdetermination.Iwasinvitedtode1iveraspeechontheawardpresentation.Iexp1ainedwhyIchosethisspecia1subjectandevenactedoutone-ro1ep1ayasRevereshorseonthestage,whichmadetheaudience1aughout.Intheend,Ishowedmygratitudetothehorseridermysocia1studiesteacher.Iwen

10、ttomyteacher,sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.Bathedintheenjoyment,hewavedatmeandexpressedhiscongratu1ations.Withtearsa1mostb1urringmyvision,Igavehimabighug.Withouthisencouragement,Icou1dnthavewontheprize.Itwashimthatcarvedmywritingpath.Go1densun1ightscatteredthroughtheofficewindow,spreadinghebright

11、nessandwarmth.Hepattedmybackand1aughedoutagain.Thenhepointedthatmypassion,devotionandpersistencecontributedtomysuccess.44Just1ikethehorseyouwrote,hegottiredandhaddoubts,buthekeptgoing.”下水文2:WhenIa1mostforgotthecontest,thenewscame.Itwasaphoneca11sayingthatIamawinner.WhenIknewIwontheprize,awideexcitem

12、enttookho1dofme.Irushedtomymotherwithexcitementandsharedthefantasticnewswithher.Onhearingoftheunexpectednews,shewassosurprisedthatshefrozewithhermouthwideopen.Afterawhi1e,excitedtearsstreameddownhercheeks.Afterthat,bathedinthewarmsunshine,wemadeourwaytotheawardpresentation.Onthewaymymotherremindmeth

13、atwithoutyourteachersencouragementyouwou1dn,thavemademuchprogressinwritinginEng1ish.Iwenttotheteacher,sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.WithtearsinmyeyesIsaidtohim,iiIwou1d1iketoexpressmyheartfe1tgratitudetoyouforyourtime1yhe1p.Itwasyourencouragementthatmademebraveenoughtosignupforthecompetition.,Hes

14、teppedforward,pattedmeontheshou1der,andsaidsoft1y,“wherethereisawi11,thereisaway.,Wehuggedeachotherastight1yaspossib1eandoureyeswerefi11edwithtears.On1ythendidIrea1izethatitwasbraveryanddeterminationthatcanconquera11thedifficu1ties.Hardworkpaidoffeventua11y.【精美词汇】takeho1dof握住;抓住,控制住;得到,占有;掌握rushto匆忙前往streamdown指液体(如水、泪水等)沿着某个表面或物体向下流动。【出彩语句】语句1:ItwasyourencouragementthatmademebraveenoughtosignupfortheComPetition.(强调句型强调encouragement)语句2:On1ythendidIrea1izethatitwasbraveryanddeterminationthatcanconquera11thedifficu1ties.(倒装句)

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