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1、嗨我是柯特洛德Hi,mKurt1oder.接下来一小时我们将会揭晓1993年Forthenexthour,we,regoingtore1ive1993奇特且骇人听闻的故事ina11itsbizarre,thunder-hittingg1ory.(在喑房♥)(莎拉)有人吗?He11o?有人吗?He11o?谁在那里?Whosthere?走开!1eavemea1one!离我远一点!Stayawayfromme!鸡皮疙瘩早安诺拉Goodmorning,Nora.我最喜欢的人你好吗?-早安先生们Myfavoriteperson.Howareyou?-Goodmorning,gent1eme
2、n.mgood.我很好嘿我要一份培根卷Good.-Hey,Iwantabaconburrito还有你的特制松饼-我要一份松饼andoneofyourspecia1waff1ething.-11getawaff1ething.还有最色彩缤纷的玉米谷片Andthena1sowhateveryourmostco1orfu1cerea1is.我也要各位!Metoo.-Guys!刷♥卡♥机坏了今天只收现金Thecreditcardmachineisdown.Cashon1ytoday.你知道我们生活在不用现金的社会里吧?Youdorea1izewere1ivinginacas
3、h1esssociety,right?我知道-这意思是Ido,Ido.-So,justtoc1arify,不供应食物?doesthatmeannofood?因为我们饿死了Becausewe,restarving.好好享受吧咸饼干?Knockyourse1vesout.-Sa1tines?我不知道有人真的会吃那东西Ididntrea1izepeop1eactua11yatethese.对我想那是Yeah,Ithoughttheywere随汤附赠的饼干somethingthatcamefreewithsoup.没错Uh-huh.Theyare.兄弟还不错吃Bro.Theyrenotbad.都是你老
4、兄小心喔!Thatsa11you,bro.-Watchyourbacks!嘿还好吗路卡斯?H-Hey,uh,youokay,1ucas?我没事mchi11in.路卡斯!1ucas!该死!我说过别再这样做Damnit!Isaidstopdoingthat!你还好吗?-我没事妈Areyouokay?-Itsa11right,Mom.这次只撞到头It,sjustmyheadthistime.天呀只撞到头?Oh,God,itsjustyourhead?他让我很紧张Igetrea11ynervousaroundhim.这家伙怎么还活着?Bro,howisthismansti11a1ive?路卡斯!不!1
5、ucas!No,no,no!好耶!A11right!掌声欢迎罗伦斯港巨人队1etsgiveitupforourPort1awrenceTitans以及他们的队长还有我最喜爱的人andtheirteamcaptainandmyfavoriteperson.我不该这么说但我说r艾萨亚霍华WasntsupposedtosaythatbutIjustdid,IsaiahHoward!加油巨人队!加油巨人队!ComeonTitans!ComeonTitans!掌声!热烈掌声!Bringit!Wegonnabringit!掌声掌声!好耶!Bringit,bringit!Yeah!劳伦斯港高中你们好吗?Po
6、rt1awrenceHigh!Howya11doing?(巨人队)嘿亲爰的Hey,honey.爸喔抱歉Dad.-Oh,sorry.我忘了我们在学校你不是我女儿Iforgotwe,reatschoo1.Yourenotmydaughter.你好玛格-你好He11o,Margot.-He11o.你带本书来赛前运动会?Didyoubringabooktoapepra11y?这是我隐藏我毫无爱校情操的方式ThisismywayofhidingthatIhavezeroschoo1spirit.有用吗?Isitworking?没有No.No,itsnot.听好今年是属于我们的Now1isten,this
7、isouryear!巨人队这是我们的时刻!Titans,thisisourtime!你以为光辉的时刻一去不返了?Youthinktheg1orydaysarebehindus?喔不那就在我们的指尖Oh,no.Theyrightthereatourfingertips.现在我要你们举起光辉的指尖然后摇摆!Now,Ineedy,a11toho1dupyourg1oryfingertipsandwaveem!好劳伦斯港高中Now,Port1awrenceHigh,我要你们知道我热爱这个小镇!Ineedya11toknowthatI1ovethistown!还有劳伦斯港高中我爱这场比赛AndPort1
8、awrenceHigh,I1ovethisgame!但是劳伦斯港高中ButPort1awrenceHigh,最重要的是我爱你们!mostimportantofa11,I1oveyouguys!我有个小问题Uh-oh,Igota1itt1eprob1emhere.不詹姆斯No,no,James.不可以对空气这样做!Nohumpingtheair,weta1kedaboutthis!我这是让我们向胜利前进!mhumpingustovictory!不没这回事!No,that,snotathing!天呀橄榄球员很逊吧?God,footba11p1ayerssuck,huh?那样那样太过分了对不起Tha
9、t.Um,thatwas,1ike,insensitive,msorry.没有人真的很逊每个人有自己的特色Nooneactua11ysucks.Everyonesgottheirstuff.没有人很逊?你这样认为?Noonesucks?You.Youstandbythat?我不知道-好比杰弗里戴墨Idontknow.-So1ike,JeffreyDahmer,他很酷吗?1ike,he,sacoo1dude?他不是No,no,no,hesnot.或是安德鲁强森他很JB♥?Or1ikeAndrewJohnson,hesachi11er?我不知道他是谁但我相信你Idontknowwho
10、thatis,butIgottatrustyou.准备好一、二、三Onthree.Ready,one,two,three.巨人队!Titans!我超爱你们的I1oveya11somuch.请不要掉麦克风P1easedontdropthemic.那超贵的It,ssuperexpensive.过来宝贝Comehere,babe.嘿谢啦苏珊!-我是伊莎贝拉Hey,thanks,Susan!-ItsIsabe11a.我爱你们!I1ovey,a11!我不知道你们的感觉怎样但那感觉很棒Idontknowaboutyou,butthatfe1trea11ygood.我说什么?你知道像是WhatdidIsay
11、?-Youknow?Bro,mnoteven我不会为礼拜五晚上紧张nervousforFridaynight.我知道-等等是山姆Igotit.-Wait.It,sSam.酷一点-什么意思“酷一点”?Becoo1.-Whatdoesthatmean,Becoo1?老兄说清楚一点Bro,givememorespecificinstructions.怎样?Sup?怎痒啊?,Sup?怎样啊?,Sup?那是搞什么啊?-我不知道Whatthehe11wasthat?-We11,1don,tknow.我以为我们只是在打招呼Ithoughtwewerejustsayinghitoeachother.不那是很微
12、妙的时刻No,thatwasaveryde1icatemoment.我们之间的距离只有五步Wewere1ikeaso1idfivestepsaway我可以跟我的心理辅♥导♥说这件事fromsomethingsubstantia1Icante11mytherapistabout.老兄你没给我任何指示We11,youdidntgivemeanydirection,man.嘿宝贝-像是喔嗨Hey,babe.-1ikea-Oh,hi.詹姆士还没约山姆出去Jamessti11hasntaskedSamout.好你在犹豫什么?Okay,whatistakingyouso1ong
13、?你们干嘛这么关心我的事?Whyareyoua11upinmybusiness?因为我们爱你Um,becausewe1oveyou.无聊Uh,boredom.喔别又来了!Oh,notagain!嘿怎么了?Whatswrong?各位!来我家开万圣节派对Hey,ya11!Ha11oweenparty,myhouse,tomorrownight.明天晚上穿上最炫的服装Comedressedtoimpress.快来否则Youbethereorbe-那是猪叫声吗?Isthatapigsquea1ing?对这个人在恶搞邀请FYeah,thepersonthatstro11ingmea1teredthein
14、vite.有多糟?Howbadisit?今早有一千观看次数-一千?Thousandviewsthismorning.-Athousand?一千观看次数没那么糟1ook,athousandviewsisnotthatbad.一千观看次数是像所有你认识的人然后再乘个五倍Athousandviewsis1ikeeveryoneyouknowtimes,1ike,five.也有可能同一个人看了一千次对吧?Itcou1dbethesamepersonwatchingitathousandtimes,a11right?不可能-啊?Un1ike1y.-Hmm?很有可能So1ike1y.好这真的超讨厌Okay,we11,itsjustsoannoying,因为一定是学校里某个人causeitsc1ear1ysomeoneatthisschoo1.但我没有对人很刻薄呀我人超好的Butmnotmeantoanyone.m1itera11ysupernice.为什么我被恶搞?-对呀为什么?SowhyamIbeingtro11ed?-1know,right?对了山姆会去你的派对吗?Bytheway,isSamcomingtoyourparty?真的吗?Rea11y?Justgonna